sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm always down for nudity.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
