She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
