I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
