I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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