It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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