these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize