hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
