If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Randomize