Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
