Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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