you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
