Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Two words: blizzard sex
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
