His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
