The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
