What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
