she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
where are you?
Hypothermia
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
