Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dicks are not precious.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
