Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize