DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
