Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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