Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
