dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
