her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
