i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
