You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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