we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize