The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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