another moral hangover. fuck.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
