im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
