I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
