I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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