Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
