The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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