I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
