So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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