Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
