Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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