belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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