I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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