so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
