Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
