Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
