Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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