he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we're making bets on your personal life
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
