she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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