eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
