Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
