Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Randomize
