Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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