god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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