At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
