did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i would punch a child for taco bell
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
