Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
