just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My ass is underappreciated
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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