I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
