i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
