Girls should come with a carfax report
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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