im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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