I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
