mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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